Nothing I or any other critic can say about this movie will have even the slightest impact on the summer blockbuster crowds starving for a real tent-pole, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to direct moviegoers from seeing this epic monstrosity from the king of epic monstrosities, Michael Bay.

A common complaint about the first installment of Bay’s transforming machine trilogy was that there were too many humans and not enough Transformers, so this time there are more CGI creations (and somehow much less story, which shouldn’t be possible). But just like the humans, they lack the requisite hearts and souls of real characters, except when Bay and his writers wallow in the most tasteless of racial stereotypes about illiterate black folks (or in this case, black Autobots) speaking Hip Hop-inflected ebonics.

Earlier this year we held our heads high because we had inaugurated the first African-American President of the United States, and some of us claimed that this would usher in a new day for race relations and understanding, and yet less than six months later we’re peddling this indigestible crap. This is what an American studio (Paramount) backed by a supposedly progressive film production house (Dreamworks) creates based on a homegrown toy company (Hasbro) — an all-out assault on global sensibilities that insults every race and nation on the planet with the assumption that this pitifully cartoonish version of America is and always will be dominant?

Talk about pride before the fall — that is Bay’s Revenge. (tt stern-enzi) Grade: F